The Way Of All Beef.
"It's not fair, it's just not fair!"
He was right, it wasn't fair. Not fair in the slightest. After a small taste of freedom, the two slabs of fresh beef were forcibly laid on the steel grating over a vicious, roaring pit of flaming heat.
"I can't believe it's all over..." the first patty, who we'll called Chester, stuttered through tears, "There's so many things left unsaid and unseen. I only wish to say goodbye!"
The second beef patty, who we'll called Karl, interrupted.
"Kid, I hate to tell ya, but your farewell wouldn't do much. That beef is suffering the same fate as we are... Come on, you know what they always say about the moment your cow gets taken down. 'You either end up in a stomach or end up rotting in a garbage can. It's just the fate of all beef.'"
"Not ALL beef" explained Chester, "I've been told that in a time of crisis, beef will often be saved and brought to this wonderful place, a meadow where Beef coexists with other select meats. A place where the hills roll and the water falls. A Place where peace and love are constantly refreshing themselves in the rain, in the dew, the condensation. A paradise where the sun is always shining, but the temperature remains slightly cooled as to ensure that we stay fresh..."
Karl couldn't listen any longer, "It's a fallacy!" he bursted out, "Look kid, I don't know what kind of Fairy Tales you've been told, but it's not going to happen. It's over. It's over for you, it's over for me, it's over for your friends, family, it's the way of all Meat.. Now get off of it and enjoy the fire! It's not often we get to experience this kind of warmth and not worry about!"
After a few moments of enjoying the warm fire on their backs, what had just been said finally registered in Chester's brain. All of the sudden he was absolutely overcome with emotion and loudly complained.
"Well that's not fair!" And he was right, it wasn't fair. Since being saved from the cows' rump Chester had barely been given the chance to take advantage of his freedom, as he didn't expect it to be over so fast... So fast that he wouldn't get to see the wonders of the world that he had only ever vaguely heard about. So fast that he didn't even get a chance to enjoy the simple beauty of his surroundings... So fast that he had barely lived at all.
"Here's the funny thing about life, kid. It isn't fair. Now stop rambling about your rights and freedoms and enjoy the fire."
The two slabs sat in silence until it was time for them to be flipped on the grill, which made Chester vocalize a sound that combined sheer terror with acceptance. The remarkably large and unpleasant looking man who had flipped them was dressed in a ketchup stained wife-beater and horribly aged jeans that had clearly already lived well past their life expectancy. The Man said no words, but his perverted grin and hungry eyes spoke volumes as to how he planned to devour these nearly finished burgers.
"Karl, What do you say we make a break for it?"
"And how exactly would we go about that?"
"...Good point."
As the burgers were taken off the grill and placed onto a paper plate that had been used far too many times, a pool of grease formed in between a long, black, wiry hair and a grease stain from a previous meal. But in this pool of Grease was a river of tears. Tears shed from a victimized piece of meat tricked by an illusion of freedom, who had such a newfound zest for life that he deserved everything except for death. Regardless, The Man lifted the double cheeseburger, his mouth watering, his fingers forcibly clasped, his eyes full of lust, and brought it towards his yellow-black stained teeth. The two patties stared into the abyss and saw nothing but the abyss staring back at them. As the multi-shaded teeth began to near contact with the bun their whole lives suddenly began flashing in front of their eyes. All the memories... Being part of a cow's rump, The Meat Processing Plant where they first awoke, being in a box at the well priced and extremely well organized M&M Meats. It had all led up to this moment, and after what seemed like hours the man finally clamped his odd teeth fully down on the burger... Multiple times. But in those last moments Chester realized what Karl had known all along... He learned that the life of beef really just isn't very good. Nor was being part of a cow. As a matter of fact their entire life was full of agony and annoyances. Chester and Karl may have passed away, but their story lives on. It's the way of all beef.
He was right, it wasn't fair. Not fair in the slightest. After a small taste of freedom, the two slabs of fresh beef were forcibly laid on the steel grating over a vicious, roaring pit of flaming heat.
"I can't believe it's all over..." the first patty, who we'll called Chester, stuttered through tears, "There's so many things left unsaid and unseen. I only wish to say goodbye!"
The second beef patty, who we'll called Karl, interrupted.
"Kid, I hate to tell ya, but your farewell wouldn't do much. That beef is suffering the same fate as we are... Come on, you know what they always say about the moment your cow gets taken down. 'You either end up in a stomach or end up rotting in a garbage can. It's just the fate of all beef.'"
"Not ALL beef" explained Chester, "I've been told that in a time of crisis, beef will often be saved and brought to this wonderful place, a meadow where Beef coexists with other select meats. A place where the hills roll and the water falls. A Place where peace and love are constantly refreshing themselves in the rain, in the dew, the condensation. A paradise where the sun is always shining, but the temperature remains slightly cooled as to ensure that we stay fresh..."
Karl couldn't listen any longer, "It's a fallacy!" he bursted out, "Look kid, I don't know what kind of Fairy Tales you've been told, but it's not going to happen. It's over. It's over for you, it's over for me, it's over for your friends, family, it's the way of all Meat.. Now get off of it and enjoy the fire! It's not often we get to experience this kind of warmth and not worry about!"
After a few moments of enjoying the warm fire on their backs, what had just been said finally registered in Chester's brain. All of the sudden he was absolutely overcome with emotion and loudly complained.
"Well that's not fair!" And he was right, it wasn't fair. Since being saved from the cows' rump Chester had barely been given the chance to take advantage of his freedom, as he didn't expect it to be over so fast... So fast that he wouldn't get to see the wonders of the world that he had only ever vaguely heard about. So fast that he didn't even get a chance to enjoy the simple beauty of his surroundings... So fast that he had barely lived at all.
"Here's the funny thing about life, kid. It isn't fair. Now stop rambling about your rights and freedoms and enjoy the fire."
The two slabs sat in silence until it was time for them to be flipped on the grill, which made Chester vocalize a sound that combined sheer terror with acceptance. The remarkably large and unpleasant looking man who had flipped them was dressed in a ketchup stained wife-beater and horribly aged jeans that had clearly already lived well past their life expectancy. The Man said no words, but his perverted grin and hungry eyes spoke volumes as to how he planned to devour these nearly finished burgers.
"Karl, What do you say we make a break for it?"
"And how exactly would we go about that?"
"...Good point."
As the burgers were taken off the grill and placed onto a paper plate that had been used far too many times, a pool of grease formed in between a long, black, wiry hair and a grease stain from a previous meal. But in this pool of Grease was a river of tears. Tears shed from a victimized piece of meat tricked by an illusion of freedom, who had such a newfound zest for life that he deserved everything except for death. Regardless, The Man lifted the double cheeseburger, his mouth watering, his fingers forcibly clasped, his eyes full of lust, and brought it towards his yellow-black stained teeth. The two patties stared into the abyss and saw nothing but the abyss staring back at them. As the multi-shaded teeth began to near contact with the bun their whole lives suddenly began flashing in front of their eyes. All the memories... Being part of a cow's rump, The Meat Processing Plant where they first awoke, being in a box at the well priced and extremely well organized M&M Meats. It had all led up to this moment, and after what seemed like hours the man finally clamped his odd teeth fully down on the burger... Multiple times. But in those last moments Chester realized what Karl had known all along... He learned that the life of beef really just isn't very good. Nor was being part of a cow. As a matter of fact their entire life was full of agony and annoyances. Chester and Karl may have passed away, but their story lives on. It's the way of all beef.
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